Our Little April Fool

Pregnancy tricks are pretty common on April Fool's Day. So last year, when we found out we were having baby #4 on April 1st, I thought surely it was some sort of joke. Does God play April Fool's tricks too?!

Of course, we are so in love with our little guy and can't imagine our family without him now. But, then? Well . . . 

After throwing up for weeks, I had chalked it up to the stress of my mom's situation, combined with my tendency to skip meals when I was going back and forth to the hospital. When Rich suggested that I may be pregnant, I thought he was crazy, but I took a test in late March to check. It was negative. This confirmed my thoughts that I was just stressed out. I knew the stress wouldn't subside, as we had just learned of my mom's stage IV cancer diagnosis. Trying to relax was not a likely solution, so I made it a point to not miss any more meals. 

The nausea didn't stop and my clothes were now beginning to get tight. Crap. So on the evening of 4/1/14, I took another test. That time, the positive result appeared so quickly, I nearly fainted. I was a huge ball of emotions, but mostly I was just thinking it must be wrong and that this could not be happening at that moment. Our plates were full, the surrounding placemat was also full, the tables were full. Full, full, full.

Immediately, I was worried about how I would have time for a baby while I was taking care of my mom. Because, yes, at that time, even though the oncologist told us her case was terminal, I didn't want to believe him. Doctors are wrong all the time, right?! Pregnancy tests are wrong too. Plates were full and everyone/everything was wrong. 

Then, everything else hit me. How would we add one more human being to our already crazy home?! How could we afford it? How would I deal with all the judgements and comments: "I thought you were done? Don't you guys use protection? You know how this happens, right?!" Yes to all three of those questions. And yes, we were asked each of them, several times, by various people. How does that phrase go? If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Ha ha, God, ha ha. 

I threw the stupid pregnancy stick on the ground and screamed at the top of my lungs. I stomped downstairs to tell Rich the news. Oh great, I thought, how am I going to tell the man who initially didn't even want a third child that we were now going to have a fourth?! 

I must've looked like a hot mess because when he saw me, he just hugged me. That was happening a lot during that time - me a hot mess, him there to support me. In fact, he had pretty much taken over with the kids so that I could be with my mom as much as possible. I know it wasn't easy and he was exhausted. So, I was not looking forward to telling a sleep-deprived zombie that we would have yet another one to keep us up all night. 

When I finally got the words out, I expected him to scream like I had just done. But, no, his reaction reminded me why I married him. And why even though his laid back attitude can drive me crazy sometimes (why can't you just do it noooowwww?!), it is exactly what I need to balance out my high strung nature. He held me and said, "We can do this. We are a team and we can do this. Remember when you told me we were having Kirra and I was upset at first? Look at what a blessing she has been to our family. I'm so happy we have her and I love her more than I ever thought possible. It will be the same with this little one too. Don't worry." 

When we lost my mom less than three weeks later, Rich told me that God sent the new baby to us to give me one more person to support me through the loss. He reflected back to the passing of his own mom and how that first year was the hardest. 

As my mom's one-year-anniversary approaches, I look back to the hardest year I have ever experienced. But, I also look at my little angel and I am so grateful to him. Grateful for keeping me busy. Grateful for giving me a reason to take six months off to be with my family during a time when I needed it most. Grateful that I have another sweet child to carry on my mom's legacy. Grateful for our little April Fool. 

Naming our Keikis

Poor, neglected blog. It's been over two years since my last post. Boy oh boy (and girl and boy) what a crazy two years it has been! We've been busy popping out babies over here, and I get a lot of questions and comments about their names. Most comments are nice, but some people can't help themselves and say some odd things too. Like, "how come the names don't go together?" Oh, I'm sorry, but we aren't the Kardashians. We're not interested in having our kids' names match. Not that there is anything wrong with that. That's just not something that was important to us.

Kai Noah - we named Kai the same day we found out we were having a boy, after my 12-week ultrasound. We had always loved that name and the meaning (ocean). We briefly debated naming him Kainoa, and then just calling him Kai. But, we decided to separate Noah into his middle name and go with the biblical version, rather than the Hawaiian spelling. Plus, that particular Noah knew a thing or two about the ocean himself. I think you see where we're going with the rest of these.

Evan Makua - Evan's name took a bit longer to decide on. Rich had mentioned liking the name when Kai was still a baby, and said if we ever had another boy, that it should be a contender.  I liked the name Blake, but I lost that battle . . . that time. Evan is a form of John, and means "God is gracious." God certainly was gracious to us at Evan's birth. He wasn't breathing when he was first born, due to having the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. But after a few extra days in the hospital, and with lots of TLC and care from his wonderful doctors and nurses, he was perfectly fine. Makua is the name of a beach on Kauai (aka Tunnels). We spent time there before and after our wedding (surfing, snorkeling, swimming), so it has special meaning to us.

Kirra Anne - we've had this name picked out for a girl since before we were married. Kirra is a surf break in Australia (this is why we spell it this way and not with an "e"). Those who know Rich, know he has been to Australia a few times and has surfed that very spot. Another reason I liked the name is that it sounds like my mom's. One of the meanings of Kirra is "sunlight," and she certainly is a little ray of sunshine. Anne was my mother-in-law's middle name.

Blake Cortez - Blake's was the first pregnancy that we chose not to find out the sex, so we figured we would just come up with a name for each. Of course, we had a girl's name picked out immediately (it would've been Isla Corazon, in case you are wondering), but we were having trouble agreeing on a boy's name. We knew we wanted to honor my mom and have her name incorporated somehow, and we finally agreed on Cortez as a middle name. It had elements of my mom's name and followed our ocean/water theme (and yes, you guessed it, Rich has surfed the Sea of Cortez many times). It means "courteous," which I thought was nice. One of the many, many great qualities my mom possessed that I hope is passed on to her grandson she wasn't able to meet. For a first name, we almost went with Zane. Kai picked that out and we liked it, but then I googled "Zane Austin," and we decided not to name our baby after a porn site. Actually, the site is Austin Zane . . . but still, it's the first thing that pops up. I was still pushing for Blake from when I liked it before, but Rich wasn't completely sold. He was convinced we were having a girl, so he said it didn't matter anyway. When Blake was born and he was a HE, we still hadn't agreed, but Rich looked over to me and said, "you pick his name; I'm happy he's healthy and will love whatever you decide on." Blake has different meanings - I've seen "someone with dark hair or skin" to the opposite of "someone with pale hair or skin." As I looked down at my newest baby boy, completely covered in pale white vernix with a thick head of dark black hair, I knew he was our Blake.

So there you have it; that's how we came up with their names. Good thing we're done having babies because we were running out of surf spots that sounded normal as names. Baby Cloudbreak would just be plain mean.